Tambayoyi

• Me yasa ka fiye rubutu kan soyayya kwanan biyun nan?

• Kai kam ko ka yi gamo ne?

Da sauran tambayoyi...

.....

Tom! Gaskiyar magana ina da sha'awa sosai kan rubutun abin da ya shafi rayuwar matashi, domin nima matashi ne. Matsalolinmu suna nan da yawa, daga cikin abubuwan da suke dakushe rayuwarmu a yau, akwai soyayya.

A karnonin baya, 1800s - 1900s akwai karanci afkawa cikin irin wannan, ko a adabi, sai a 1984 aka fara adabin soyayyar Bahaushe (Malumfashi, 1994). Kuma da yawa cikin magabantanmu (iyayenmu) ba su ma yi soyayyar saurayi da budurwa ba, iyayensu suke aurar da su. Hasali ma, da yawa suna da kunyar tsayawa a gaban mace, su ma matan haka.

A wancan lokacin babu wayar hannu, sai a dauki lokaci mai tsayi masoya ba su ga juna ba, sabanin yau, da a rana sai a yi waya ba adadi. 

A da can, ko auren ma aka yi, wani sai ya dauki kwanaki kafin ya je ya gana da amaryarsa, sabanin yau, da tun a filin 'dinner' ango da amarya ke nuna kamar za su cinye junansu, kunya ta yi karanci.

Saboda canje-canje ta fuskar wayewa, dabi'u da zamantakewa da kuma ci gaban zamani, Soyayya na daya daga cikin abin da ke rusa rayuwar wasu matasan 'yan 20s - 30s da yawa, daidaku ke dacewa, su ci ribar soyayya. 

Misali:

1. A shekarun matashi 20s - 30s, lokacin mafi kalubale ga matashi, shi ne lokacin da yake jefa kansa cikin sha'anin soyayya. Maimakon matashi ya dukufa wajen gina kansa, sai ya dage wajen tattalin soyayya, duk 'yan canjikansa ya kashewa yarinya, a karshe wani (late comer) ya zo ya aure ta.

2. Na ga wanda ya fada shaye-shaye saboda zafin So, don ya sami sauqin radadi, ya bi shawarar mugayen abokai. Mun san shaye-shaye na da wuyar dainawa in mutum ya fara, sai wanda Allah Ya so shi da rahama.

3. Na ga matashi mai hazaka a makaranta, sanadiyya son nunawa soyayya bajinta, aka kore shi a makaranta.

4. Na ga matashi mai hazaka a makaranta, sanadiyyar soyayya ya ajiye karatu, ya rinka samun matsala a karatunsa.

5. Na ga matashiyyar da sanadiyyar soyayya ta gujewa iyayenta, ta shiga duniya. Wata kuma tana gabansu, amma kullum tana cikin sabani f su, duk akan soyayya.

6. Akwai matashiyyar da zata yi sati biyu tana zaune a daki tana rusa kuka, a gida a yi zaton (physiological) jinya ce, bal! ciwon so ne, wanda da yawan mutane ba su bawa irin wannan (psychological) jinya muhimmanci.

7. Akwai wanda zai zo wajen DIJE, WANI ya aure ta saboda ba shi da halin aurenta. Sai ya koma wajen MOMY, UMMI, RAMSY duk dai abu ɗaya; maimakon ya yi tunani neman madogara sai kuma yake ƙoƙarin neman soyayya da ZAHRA kuma. A ilimin dabi'a, wannan kamar rago ne ya since daga turke, yana neman magani (domin ya dawo cikin haiyyacinsa).

8. Soyayyar nan tana sa rayuwar matasa rashin dadi, firgici, rashin nutsuwa da rashin maida hankali kan rayuwa... da sauran matsaloli. 

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• Abu na farko, bayan karance-karance littafan soyayya a ilmance irin na su Ibn Qayyim, Imam Ghazali, Birjas, Zuhra, Muhammad Mahmud, Dr. Murshid رحمهم الله, da sauransu, ina da experience kan yadda soyayya take a wannan zamani, a karan kaina da kuma cikin abokai.

• Na biyu, kamar therapist, ta Whatsapp da Messenger ina da 'clients' kan mas'alolin soyayya da dama, (sirri ne) amma wani in ka ji kokensa, sai ya sa kamar ka zubda hawaye.

• Na uku, kamar yadda cuttukan zahiri suke da likitoci, da asibiti; haka nan cututtukan da ke kama zukata da tunani suke da likitoci da asibiti (sai dai karancinsu anan), kuma akwai bayaninsu cikin littafan ilimi na irin wadancan malaman da na ambata a sama.

• Na hudu, gaskiya ba a fiye bawa abin da ya shafi 'masha'ir (feelings) muhimmanci ba anan, shi ya sa, da ka yi maganar a tsare ko a ilmance, sai ta dau hankali, nan zaka gane akwai masu irin matsalolin da dama cikin mutane.

• Na biyar, duk ka karancin sani, ina fatan kalmomina su zame waraka ga masu cutar so (مرض الحب), Allah Ya sa mu yi rayuwa mai cike da manufa, Ya kyautata sha'aninmu, kada ya kyale mu da kanmu koda da kiftawar ido, amin.

✍️ Aliyu M. Ahmad

8th Dhul-Qa'adah, 1443AH

8th June, 2022CE

#AliyuMAhmad #RayuwaDaNazari #Soyayya #SoyayyaDaRayuwa